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Understanding Body Grief: Navigating Loss and Acceptance
Body Grief refers to the emotional response to changes in one's physical self due to factors like illness, aging, or disability. This blog explores the importance of acknowledging and compassionately processing this often overlooked form of grief.
Last Updated: February 10, 2025
What You'll Learn
- Understand the concept of Body Grief and its impact on individuals experiencing changes due to disability, illness, aging, or shifts in physical identity.
- Explore the nonlinear stages of Body Grief, including dismissal, shock, fault, fight, hopelessness/hope, and body trust, and learn how to navigate them.
- Recognize the importance of acknowledging and processing Body Grief with compassion, rather than viewing it as something to overcome.
- Identify strategies for making peace with an ever-changing body, such as practicing self-compassion, seeking community support, redefining strength, challenging oppressive narratives, creating new rituals, and embracing change as a constant.
Grief is often associated with the loss of a loved one, but what happens when the loss I mourn is that of my own body as I once knew it? Body Grief is a profound and deeply personal experience, one that many of us face but rarely talk about. It’s the grief that comes with changes in our bodies—whether through disability, illness, aging, or shifts in our physical identity. It’s not something to be fixed or overcome but something that deserves to be acknowledged and processed with care.
What is Body Grief?
Body Grief is the emotional response to the changes, limitations, or perceived betrayals of our bodies. It can arise from disability, chronic illness, aging, injury, or even societal pressures related to body image. At its core, Body Grief is a recognition of loss—the loss of abilities, functions, or the body I once had or expected to have.
Unlike traditional grief, which is often externally acknowledged and ritualized, Body Grief is deeply personal and frequently overlooked. Society tends to encourage resilience and adaptation without making space for mourning. But just as we grieve lost relationships or opportunities, we must also allow ourselves to grieve the changes in our physical selves.
The Nonlinear Journey of Body Grief
Body Grief is not a step-by-step process with a finish line. It moves in waves, shifting and evolving over time. Through my own experience and the stories of others, I’ve come to see that it often follows a pattern of emotional stages, though not in any particular order:
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- Dismissal – Downplaying or ignoring changes, convincing myself that things will return to normal.
- Shock – Feeling disbelief or numbness when reality sets in.
- Fault – Questioning what I could have done differently, leading to guilt or shame.
- Hopelessness/Hope – Feeling like nothing will ever be the same again, while simultaneously finding small ways to adapt and see new possibilities.
- Fight- Feeling overwhelmed and working against the Body Grief that is present, this can present as being or feeling “at war” with one’s body.
- Body Trust – Learning to work with my body rather than against it. Accepting my body as it is and finding peace within that acceptance, understanding that this is a non linear journey.
These stages are not about “getting over” anything. They’re about making space for grief in whatever way it shows up. Healing is not about erasing pain but about learning to live alongside it with more compassion.
Why Acknowledging Body Grief Matters
One of the most challenging aspects of Body Grief is the pressure to “move on” or “stay positive.” So often, we are encouraged to push forward, to be grateful for what we still have, or to focus on solutions rather than emotions. But ignoring grief doesn’t make it disappear—it only forces it deeper inside, where it can turn into resentment, frustration, or self-hatred.
By acknowledging and naming Body Grief, I give myself permission to feel, to mourn, and ultimately, to heal. Recognizing this grief helps dismantle harmful narratives that frame my body as an enemy to be battled rather than an ally to be supported.
Unpacking Internalized Systems of Oppression
A crucial part of healing from Body Grief is recognizing and dismantling the internalized systems of oppression that shape how we view our bodies. Ableism, fatphobia, sexism, racism, and other forms of systemic discrimination influence how we perceive our worth, often making us feel as though our bodies are inadequate or failing.
For many of us, unlearning these harmful narratives is a lifelong process. I’ve had to confront my own internalized ableism—the ingrained belief that productivity, independence, or a certain level of physical ability determines my value. But my worth is not contingent on what my body can or cannot do. Healing from Body Grief means rejecting these oppressive standards and embracing a more inclusive, compassionate understanding of what it means to exist in my body.
We live in a world that often sees disabled, chronically ill, or aging bodies as burdens rather than as inherently valuable. By acknowledging these social forces, I empower myself to move toward healing with the knowledge that my grief is not just personal—it is deeply tied to a society that devalues bodies that don’t conform to rigid ideals. Healing means reclaiming my narrative and honoring my body in its truth, free from external judgment.
Making Peace with an Ever-Changing Body
Our bodies are always on our side, even when it feels like they are working against us. This shift in mindset—from battling my body to partnering with it—has transformed how I approach healing, self-care, and personal growth.
Here are some key strategies I’ve found helpful in working through Body Grief:
- Practice Self-Compassion – Speak to yourself with kindness, as you would a loved one going through a tough time.
- Seek Community – Connect with others who understand Body Grief, whether through support groups, therapy, or online spaces.
- Redefine Strength – Strength is not just about physical ability but also about resilience, adaptability, and emotional endurance.
- Challenge Oppressive Narratives – Question societal messages that equate worth with health, beauty, or ability, and replace them with affirmations that honor all bodies.
- Create New Rituals – Find ways to honor my body in its current form, whether through movement, self-care practices, or personal celebrations.
- Embrace Change as a Constant – Bodies are always evolving; learning to navigate these shifts with grace and patience can lead to greater acceptance.
A Personal and Universal Experience
Body Grief is something so many of us experience, yet it remains largely unspoken. From facing life-altering diagnoses to adjusting to assistive devices, I’ve had to grieve the body I once had while learning to live in the one I have now. Through sharing my experiences and those of others, I hope to create more space for this conversation and offer validation to those who need it.
Body Grief is not something to be conquered but something to be felt, understood, and integrated into our lives. Healing comes not from rejecting my grief but from making space for it.
Why Clinicians Trust ICANotes for Body Grief Documentation
Clinicians working with clients experiencing Body Grief need a documentation solution that is not only efficient but also clinically robust and sensitive to the complexities of mental health care. ICANotes has earned the trust of thousands of behavioral health professionals because it was designed by a psychiatrist specifically for mental health and addiction treatment settings.
- Tailored for Behavioral Health – Unlike generic EHRs, ICANotes is built with the unique needs of behavioral health professionals in mind. It provides structured yet customizable templates that ensure thorough documentation of complex emotional and psychological experiences like Body Grief.
- Compliance and Security – ICANotes is ONC-certified and fully compliant with federal regulations, ensuring that sensitive mental health records are secure and accessible.
- User-Driven Enhancements – With over 25 years in business and a commitment to ongoing user feedback, ICANotes continuously evolves to meet the needs of clinicians. Features are regularly updated based on real-world clinical practice.
- Minimal Training Required – Because ICANotes is highly intuitive and designed with a clinically logical workflow, clinicians can quickly integrate it into their practice without extensive training.
How ICANotes Simplifies and Improves Body Grief Documentation
Documenting a client’s experience with Body Grief requires precision, empathy, and efficiency. ICANotes streamlines this process while ensuring comprehensive, high-quality documentation.
- Fast and Detailed Note Creation – With ICANotes’ menu-driven charting system, clinicians can create detailed, individualized narrative notes in minutes—without excessive typing or dictation.
- Customizable Templates for Emotional Complexity – Clinicians can tailor documentation to reflect the unique ways in which clients experience Body Grief, ensuring that the full emotional landscape is captured.
- Integrated Treatment Planning – ICANotes helps clinicians track a client’s journey through Body Grief by integrating assessments, treatment plans, and progress notes into one seamless workflow.
- Reduced Legal Risk and Improved Compliance – Accurate and thorough documentation minimizes the risk of audits or denied claims, while also ensuring that clinicians remain compliant with behavioral health standards.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve ever felt like your body has let you down, you’re not alone. Body Grief is real, and it deserves recognition. By embracing its complexities, we can begin to forge a new relationship with our bodies—one built on trust, care, and understanding. And in that acceptance, we can find peace.
For clinicians, ICANotes provides the tools needed to document this journey with clarity, empathy, and efficiency, ensuring that clients receive the support they need while clinicians maintain a streamlined and compliant practice.
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Jayne Mattingly
Author, Advocate
Jayne is a leader. author, advocate and artist who speaks up for those that are disabled, chronically ill, struggling with eating disorders, and/or mental illness. Her vulnerable, open, and honest content breaks barriers for those who are left out and unseen in an ableist-focused world. Jayne candidly shares her learnings, hardships, and growth, all while breaking stigmas and normalizing body grief. Her content, mission, and now debut Book, "This is Body Grief" provide a safe space and support for an unseen and unheard community. She holds a Master’s Degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology, specializing in eating disorder recovery and body image struggles.